The Clarity Method: Tap Into What Motivates Your Clients, Your Colleagues, and You With Core Values by Brownson Tim

Author:Brownson, Tim [Brownson, Tim]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-05-14T00:00:00+00:00

”Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values..”

—Ayn Rand

8

How to Determine a Client’s Hierarchy of Values: An Alternative Method

The method I have just described is actually not how I was trained to do a value elicitation. Not only didn’t my original training incorporate anti-values (that was something I adopted later after stumbling across them during some NLP training and realizing they were crucial to completing the process), it also didn’t call for showing sample values to clients.

It was a very simple process that involved asking the client the following question: “What is important to you in your life?”

Sometimes the response would throw up an obvious value such as Love, Peace, or Freedom. However, more often than not the answer would be more convoluted, like being able to have plenty of time off, or earning lots of money, and would require the follow up question, “What does X (where X is the response) give you?”

And that question would be asked again and again until a value was reached. You then ask again to ensure that there isn’t more than one value attached to the answer—at which point you would revert to the original question and start the process again .

Here is an example:

Coach: “What is important to you in your life?”

Client: “Having more money.”

Coach: “What does having more money give you?”

Client: “I can go on more vacations and take more time off.”

Coach: “What does having more vacations and taking time off give you?”

Client: “I can spend more time with my family.”

At this point we have our first value, that of Family, and we can start the process again.

Coach: “What else does more money give you?”

Clients: “Security, I guess.”

Coach: “What does security give you?”

Client: “I’m not really sure, I just would feel more secure, more relaxed.”

Sometimes a value pops up immediately as in this case. However, even when that is the case still ask again to make sure there’s nothing else in there.

Coach: “What else does money give you?”

Client: “I can buy a bigger house.”

Coach: “What does having a bigger house give you?”

Client: “I’m not really sure.”

Coach: “If you were sure, what would having a bigger house give you?” [4 ]

Client: “I’d look like I’ve made it, that I have succeeded.”

Coach: “What does success give you?”

Client: “I don’t know. It just feels good.”

At some stage, the client will not be able to tell you anything else that money gives them so you start the process again from the beginning with '"What else is important to you in your life?"

When you get words and expressions like success and made it , you’re nearly always dealing with the value of Status. Whereas it’s nice to think we are not motivated by status, nothing could be further from the truth—your brain absolutely loves it.

How do you feel if you’re having a petty argument with a friend and you suddenly realize half-way through that you’re wrong? What about being dumped by a partner? And how do you feel when you

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